Alfie's Valentine
Rachel Wells shares a brand new Alfie love story just in time for Valentine's Day.
Love is in the air. Or at least in Edgar Road. Perhaps it’s not the biggest of occasions in a cats life, but I am a romantic at heart, so I do like to celebrate Valentine’s day, cat style.
Once when I was wooing my Snowball, I tried a grand gesture, which involved digging up flowers, then carrying them to Snowball’s garden, climbing a tree and declaring my love. To say it didn’t go well is an understatement… I discovered carrying flowers in your mouth isn’t easy, and then I discovered I had a fear of heights and then I had to be rescued by firemen. What was supposed to be the most romantic moment of my life was the most humiliating. So no grand gestures for this cat…
But we had other fish to fry (oh how I longed for pilchards as my Valentine’s gift), because where as there was a lot of romance in Edgar Road, there was also someone who wasn’t happy. I’ll get to that…
First the good news. Snowball and I were still very happy, although our biggest wish for Valentine’s was to spend some time together, quietly. Because most days were filled with the grand kittens, a house full of children, and trying to keep our humans on track. Anyway, I digress again. So, George and Hana were also very happy, although parenting was keeping them busy of course. Most of our humans were great too - and now the children were growing up, there seemed to be more friends, or girlfriends and boyfriends and all sorts in our lives - I could barely keep up. But, and there is a big but. A row threatened to derail us.
Claire and Jonathan rowed a lot. They really were my first humans in a way and I bought them together, so as well as being my main house I felt responsible for them. And, well things had taken a turn. Let’s go back to a week ago when I was catching forty winks on the sofa and the kids were out with friends, Claire and Jonathan were home alone (apart from me and Snowball).
‘All I am asking for is one night out,’ Claire said. She had her ‘cross voice.’
‘And I said, I will take you out anytime but do we have to go out on Valentine’s night? It’s just so trite, all those couples sitting opposite each other as if they are only allowed to love each other one night a year,’ Jonathan countered. I secretly could see his point, but, sensing a row brewing I decided to keep quiet.
‘That is not the point, I just want you to do something nice for me, any time would be good but with it coming up… Frankie and Tomasz are obviously busy with the restaurant, but they are going on holiday together, just after, just the two of them. Matt is taking Polly to see a play, and Marcus is taking Sylvie away for the weekend. What did I say when they asked me? I offered to babysit and we don’t even need to babysit our kids anymore.’
‘What about Theo?’ I put my paws over my ears as even I knew that wasn’t the right thing to say.
‘Connie is looking after him,’ Claire shouted. ‘And, not the point by the way.’ she stormed out. Jonathan scratched his head, he really could be quite clueless. I knew that if they didn’t sort something out soon then I would have to take action.
They didn’t speak to each other the next day. Or the next. Even Summer and Toby were concerned and as they were normally too attached to their phones to notice we all knew it was bad. And with Valentine’s day coming up and still no sign of anything from Jonathan, I knew I would have to get involved.
‘So what do you propose we do?’ Snowball asked. ‘I mean, I understand that Claire only wants to be treated nicely but Jonathan’s never been very romantic has he?’
‘No, remember when he suggested they go to watch football for her birthday one year, and the time that he got her flowers from the garage because he forgot. They smelt of petrol,’ George added. I had called a crisis meeting. But this wasn’t going to be easy.
‘I had an idea. I thought I would drop clues to Jonathan by reminding him of all of Claire’s favourite things,’ I said. It wasn’t going to be easy but I knew I was a genius. If I dropped clues then Jonathan would maybe at least go and buy her a present.
‘But how do we do it?’ Snowball asked.
‘Well, here’s the plan. Claire is going shopping with Summer, Polly and Martha tomorrow, so we have limited time. We will try to collect the things Claire likes best, like maybe some of her favourite clothes, jewellery, and well, whatever else we can think of. We leave a pile somewhere Jonathan will see it and he’ll get the hint and go and buy her something.’
‘It's a long shot, Jonathan isn’t the quickest on the uptake,’ George pointed out.
‘Well it’s the best I can do. Also, if we can get him to take her out…’ I trailed off. I realised this plan might be a bit ambitious, even for me. I tried to explain it fully. I knew from when Claire did get gifts like perfume, scarfs, flowers, earrings they seemed to make her very happy. I kind of knew what I meant in any case.
‘And we can get the kittens to help,’ I suggested.
‘Good luck with that,’ George flicked his tail.
‘No, Alfie has a point. We put a few of her favourite things in a place where Jonathan will find them, like his slippers,’ Snowball said. I nuzzled her. That was love. She was trying to be supportive and that was what love was about. Just how to convey that message to Jonathan?
The plan was in place. As in place as it could be. Jonathan was watching football with Toby, Matt, Henry and Tommy. They were quite noisy so it gave me a chance to direct my troops. My troops being Snowball, George, and my grand kittens, Holly, Tiger and Santa. They saw it as a sort of game which helped.
It started well. We managed to get a nice silk scarf (Claire’s favourite), some of her underwear, just as an idea, not that I knew if that would be a good idea, a shoe she was fond of and even her expensive face cream - anti-wrinkle, and expensive - from her dressing table and we used our paws to push, and roll and our noses to nudge it all into a pile in Jonathan’s study. It wasn’t easy but we managed it.
He was wearing his slippers so we discounted that idea.
‘What about her jewellery?’ I asked. We went back to the dressing table.
‘You do know we only have paws,’ George said. ‘I mean we’ve actually done better than I thought we would already,’ he added, or conceded. I refrained from telling him I told him so.
Holly jumped onto the dressing table and started moving her jewellery box with her paw, not to be outdone, Tiger jumped up and they sort of started jostling to see who could do it first. There was a crash as it landed on the floor and her jewellery all spilled out.
‘Well, we can take some of it, now,’ Tiger said, puffing his body out. It was hard but Holly, with Santa’s help managed to get a long string of beads over her head. Tiger focused on an earring, pushing it with his paw which took a very long time as it was quite delicate.
Eventually I declared we had done it. There was a pile of things in Jonathan;’s study. And if he didn’t get the clue we’d left him about buying something for Claire, then I was definitely going to retire.
We made it downstairs and had something to eat and a rest. Jonathan would have to do the rest, we had done all we could.
I was woken up by Claire shouting again. Oh no, I suddenly startled, what had happened?
‘My jewellery is over the floor, my room is a mess. Look my drawer is open,’ she shouted.
‘But we were here all the time,’ Jonathan replied, sounding annoyed. We all rushed upstairs. In our excitement, we had made a bit of a mess I could see. Shoes were scattered and things were everywhere. I tried not to look guilty.
‘And why is Holly wearing my necklace,’ she said. We all looked at Holly who was playing with the beads with her paw.
‘What have you cats done?’ Jonathan asked, half horrified, half puzzled.
‘Look,’ Summer said as she came into the bedroom. ‘There’s all your stuff in Daddy’s study.’ They walked in and looked at the pile.
‘What on earth?’ Claire said.
Jonathan scratched his head. I stood on his foot. ‘Ow,’ he shouted then he looked at me. He turned to the others who all gave him the ‘surely you can figure this out,’ look.
‘Oh well, never mind. Go and pour a glass of wine and I’ll clear up, Summer can help me,’ he said. Claire tutted, took the beads from Holly who wasn’t keen on giving them up and left. I stayed with Jonathan and Summer. Perhaps I could help. Again. I nestled into Summer.
‘You know mummy was saying to Aunt Polly that you never buy her anything for Valentine’s and she’s sad that you’re not taking her out,’ she said. ‘And look, these are all the things she likes. Her favourite shoe, although there’s only one, her face cream, an earring, and that scarf, among other things.’ She narrowed her eyes and stared at me, then at her father. ‘Maybe this is a clue that you should buy mum something like this,’ she swept her arms across the pile.
Oh thank goodness I had one smart human at my disposal.
‘The cats?’ Jonathan scratched his head again. He did that a lot.
‘Well they are always trying to help, aren’t they?’ Summer said, picking me up and stroking me.
‘OK Sum, so what should I do?’
‘Let’s use your computer, I can help and mum might start talking to you again.’
Valentine’s day dawned cold but bright. I nuzzled Snowball, and George had already gone to see Hana. Everyone was together in a way that I liked it. Although I still wasn’t sure about Claire and Jonathan.
Claire made coffee and sighed a lot. I guess that perhaps it hadn’t quite worked out. But then Jonathan came downstairs and he had a big shiny bag with him.
‘I know I’m a terrible husband,’ he started. ‘And just because I don’t like Valentine’s day, doesn’t meant that it’s not important but I love you every single day and I always will.’
I felt quite emotional, as did Claire who shed a tear. He sat her down and started giving her gifts which were wrapped beautifully. There was a scarf, a pair of shoes, some beauty products and finally…
‘Oh Jonathan, diamond earrings, they are so beautiful.’
‘And so are you,’ Jonathan said. ‘And I have booked dinner for us tonight at your favourite restaurant.’
Claire wiped her tears and hugged her husband. ‘I love you, you silly fool and thank you. But I didn’t get you anything, sorry but I was cross.’
‘No problem. There’s always next year. I might give Alfie my list now,’ he joked. But it wasn’t a joke was it?
The day was full of love, but then I realise every day is, and that is why I am such a lucky cat. It doesn’t matter if you are in relationship, or single, or grumpy married like Jonathan and Claire, you just need to believe in love. It might not make the world go round exactly - apparently that’s science - but it certainly keeps this cat’s heart beating.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
This is lovely thanks Rachel x