A Cat's Guide to Training Your Human
Part 2: Tips to Improving Your Human's Behaviour Plus Top Feeding Tips by Alfie The Doorstep Cat
In my last missive, I talked a bit about how to deal with humans when it comes to sleeping arrangements. That got me thinking that human training is really very important for us cats, so I am giving you some more tips. So, if you follow the newsletter, you will learn how to train your humans to be the best that every cat needs and deserves.
Please note, use my friendly and gentle training methods to ensure that your humans act in a cat-appropriate way.
We love our humans but they can be tricky. But here are a few simple rules:
Treat them with kindness and respect at all times. Even if they are being difficult and not playing ball (literally at times).
Being loving toward your human means you will reap the benefits in the long run.
Never get angry with them, it may be hard at times but anger makes things worse - therefore always adopt patience.
Humans are flawed, after all they can’t be cats.
The key to training your human is to recognise that they think they are in charge. Humans seem to assume that we are their pets but us cats know better. We know who’s the boss and keeping that in mind will not only make it easier to get your human to behave the way you want them to but it will also ensure that within your household, your humans, and their pets, (i.e. dogs and children) will all bow to your superior knowledge and intelligence.
In a nutshell, my fellow cats, stick with me, follow my simple training methods and you will have your humans eating out of your paws in no time. And talking about eating… Let’s just have a quick look at how to train your humans when it comes to food.
We all know how important food is to everyone, not just cats. Us cats are not all the same, we know that but, humans don’t always realise. We all like to eat different things. My favourite food is pilchards but George loves the cat food that comes out of a pouch - I always say there is no accounting for taste. But the point is that we deserve to eat what we enjoy, and we just have to let humans this.
First, it’s important to establish two things:
Letting humans know when you are hungry.
Letting them know what you want to eat.
When you are hungry, there are a few actions to take:
Miaow loudly and urgently, especially if you are ready for breakfast and your humans are still sleeping. Do not stop until you WAKE them up.
Go to where your bowl is, or scratch at the cupboard where the food is kept. Note: I have been known to actually get into my food cupboard, but the problem is that I got stuck so be careful.
Repeat above steps as many times as necessary.
To let them know what food you like/dislike:
Eat eagerly if you like food, lick your lips and purr appreciatively once you have finished dining. Praise your human by making a fuss of them. Humans love praise and if you rub against their legs, purr, and snuggle into them, they know they have done something right.
Leave food if you dislike it. If you are very hungry eat a bit but make it clear you dislike it by miaowing loudly and leaving the bulk of it in your bowl turn your nose upwards. Refuse affection. It might sound harsh but, if you don’t stand firm on your paws then you might never get food you like.
If necessary jump on the table when they are eating, to show you would like food a bit more like theirs. Humans seem to dislike us cats near their human food but if we need to make things clear and you’ve tried everything else, then do this. However, it is a last resort.
So fellow cats enjoy your purr-fect food after following my simple rules.
And I’ll be back with more human training tips for you, so stay tuned.
Love, Alfie xxx
I agree, cats like to let you think you have trained them when realy it is them that has trained you to put up with all their bad ĥabits!