A Cat's Guide to Training Your Human
Part 1: Sleeping Arrangements by Alfie The Doorstep Cat
Part 1: Sleeping Arrangements
There is much that needs to be covered when it comes to where you sleep or rest round the house but for this section we will concentrate on your main place of slumber. After all, sleep is incredibly important to us cats, we are only as clever as we are because of the amount of rest we get.
Just as with food we do not all like to sleep in the same places all the time and our humans need to be made aware of this. I, for example prefer to sleep on either the sofa or in a chair on top of a warm snuggly blanket for some kind of naps, other times I am happy to find a sunny spot on the floor.
If I can sleep on a pile of clean laundry then I am in heaven (and for some reason a whole heap of trouble), and if there’s a cashmere jumper around - well, what can can resist? So, just to say that we cats deserve the best sleep, and we need to make our humans aware of this. Below are a few tips in how to train them.
If your human buys you a bed you don’t like, refuse to sleep in it. If they put you in it, yelp loudly and jump out as if it’s on fire. They will soon learn. And if they don’t, just look at the bed with disdain, and the human will soon realise they are fighting a losing battle.
If they try to ban you from certain pieces of furniture pretend you don’t understand. Humans don’t understand how clever we cats are, so playing dumb is a very good tactic. Same with the laundry, the bed.
 If you like sleeping on a bed, which to be fair is where humans sleep so if it’s good enough for them it’s good enough for some of us, then just sleep there. Some nicer humans will share with you, but if they don’t then just keep doing it. Sleep in the middle of the bed if you really need to hammer the message home. Curl up with your human, as if you are doing them a favour - which to be fair you are. But if they don’t like you on their bed for some unfathomable reason, just persist. In my experience, humans tend to give up much quicker than cats do.
 If this doesn’t give you the results you desire, after all humans aren’t always that quick on the up take, be persistent and consistent. Find your sleeping goals and just do it. I predict that you will soon have your human wrapped around your paw.
Good luck, fellow cats and enjoy your rest in your place of sleep fit for a cat!
Yes, spot on mine definitely favour the bed, my bed!